Broken But Beautifully Made

by Destinee | Apr 13, 2021 | BLOG, Guest Blog

Hey There,

Where do I even begin, there was a time in my life that all I could think of was giving up and that nothing mattered to me anymore. Life became so bleak that every little thing pushed me to the edge. I remember saying, “if one more incident occurs, I am going to lose it.”

Have you ever had that kind of moment in your life?

Have you ever had that kind of moment in your life? Because I sure had plenty. The feeling of simply losing it is such an awful feeling. At that time, I did not understand why I was going through what I was going through. I thought God was just punishing me for all of the mistakes I have made in my life. I felt so abandoned, rejected, and simply unwanted.

It took losing everything for me to finally realize that nothing matters more than God and that I am not in control of my life. I was so broken that I could not see the beauty in life. I went through so much trauma since childhood that all the dysfunction I was in felt normal and that everything was the way It was supposed to be. Then one day, when I reached rock bottom all I had to turn to was God. I could not run away anymore and all I could do was face myself, God, and everything that was going on with my life.

I encourage you today to get out of denial, to be honest with yourself, and stay true to yourself. It is okay to not be okay … just don’t stay there for too long. God created us for a purpose and for so much more. He does not want us to live our lives in pain and suffering but to live a joyful life. There is so much beauty in our brokenness, but it will take careful observation and dedication to see the beauty in it.

Do not fall for the devils’ trap to do what he wants you to do when you are sad.

Do the opposite instead! Remember, you are the daughter of the High King and the power that raised Lazarus from the dead is also in you!

Stand still, be encouraged, and be brave to know that you may be broken but you are beautifully made in His image. There is purpose in our pain; it may not make sense right now, but I promise in due time that purpose will reveal itself to you.

Keep seeking your truth and identity in Christ for He will never fail you or forsake you.

Get a signed copy of Claire’s new book with a special gift HERE.

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Clarice Cregger

Clarice Cregger (AKA “Coach Claire”) was born and raised in Olongapo City, Philippines. She currently resides in Albuquerque, NM with her husband, Richard Torres. Clarice is an Amazon best-selling author, publishing her first book in 2020 as a co-author of “Heart of God for Her: 45 Day Devotional – Revealing God’s Love for His Leading Ladies.” Clarice is a creative entrepreneur, specializing in life coaching and professional photography. As a certified life coach, she thankfully utilizes her craft of transformational coaching with a keen focus on breaking harmful patterns and overcoming guilt and shame. With a compelling backstory of her own, Clarice is very passionate about helping women find their voice, strength, and beauty while overcoming past hurts. With a backdrop of faith in God, Clarice helps women and anyone in need fulfill their God-given purpose in life.

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Prisoner of HOPE

by Destinee | Mar 13, 2021 | Guest Blog

Defining moments are those which come into our lives and suddenly happen. They are a stopping point. A lapse in time in which everything combusts and crashes.

2015 had a moment like that for me.
It was the year in which I awakened to a shattered reality, the most painful state of the human soul.

Disconcerted I asked myself, “how did I get here?”

In my book, a memoir about reclaiming identity and finding hope in God’s love. I tell the story of the chapter of my life in which I survived a nervous breakdown.

Lost in the moment I tried to end my life.
In this level of pain and darkness, it is the mind that collapses first. When all schemes fail and it feels cornered, it turns against itself, betraying the human heart and its right to live.

Some people think that suicide is a cowardly choice, but it takes bravery to face a demon so powerful that not all its victims escape and live to tell.

I lived it, the void is real, it’s cold and it drags a wounded and abandoned heart to the depths of complete loss. A moment devoid of all hope.

Pain choked out my life.
I had failed to attain the one thing that could never be bought.

The one thing that is freely and willingly given by the One who is love; God.
And since I did not know what love is, I settled for a counterfeit idea of it; conditional
love.

Trying to make people love me was something I strived for continuously.
That was the lie that informed my identity, “love is earned”.

I couldn’t see past the moment so ending my life seemed like the only option left…but
was it?

After my failed attempt I had survived and now I needed to find a way to live again.
My journey through recovery was about reclaiming that which was lost or stolen; ME.

Reclaiming my true identity was a slow conquest.

Throughout my life, I had tried to earn love. I was so focused on what people thought of me, I would do anything to be accepted.

I call this behavioral phenomenon “twirling”. Yes, you read right, “twirling.”

Have you ever seen those jewelry boxes that have a mechanical ballerina attached
inside?

As you open it the music plays and the ballerina twirls in front of the mirror. She dances to please those who catch a glimpse.

Just like the mechanical ballerina I loved to twirl. I had it down to an art. With every effort, I’d get the applause, the affirmation which was my sure fix of self-worth.

The outcomes of these behavior patterns were the quicksand in which I had anchored
my hope. When my so-called life collapsed, I discovered that true hope can only be found in a
person who is steady and faithful and true.

Not only that but He doesn’t demand any performing on my part.
That person is Jesus. He was the only one who stood by my side when everyone else left.

Through the journey of recovery, I found out who I truly am. I discovered true love, not the kind that we see in the movies. No, I mean a love so real, so pure and intense that it can be easily perceived and felt if
we’re willing to seek it.

I began discovering the truth about myself and God. I found out who I was not. Dismantling my false identity was the only way I could become free. My freedom to exist is the most valuable thing I have. But choosing to stay with God and not run has been an act of falling in love. A dance that persuades me with the truth. A hope that presently breathes life into me, and I think I finally found it! Unshakable hope found in God’s love.

I hope you journey with me, allow yourself to know who you truly are. There are things I
want to share which I know will help you become free and full of hope.

GEORGINA FOURZAN
Licensed Foursquare Pastor
Celebrate Recovery Ministry Leader
East Gate Church Albuquerque New Mexico
ISSA Certified Sports & Fitness Nutrition Specialist – Health & Nutrition Solutions

Pastor Georgina Fourzan is an advocate and active speaker for health and wholeness of mind, body, and spirit. She’s passionate about teaching people to regain physical and emotional healing through faith-based recovery principles.
Her ministry is to help people find their true identity in Christ.

She is notable for her enthusiasm for God and equipping disciples with the spiritual tools to fulfill their God-given purpose. Since 2018, Georgina has been the ministry leader for Celebrate Recovery at her home church East Gate.

She’s currently writing her first book, a memoir about reclaiming identity, surviving a nervous breakdown, and finding unshakable hope in God’s love.