I feel like there is an epidemic in lukewarm love. I know it comes from women as well but I can only speak of my experience in loving a man who wasn’t loving me the way he should have.

When people began to learn of the heartbreaking affair I was going through in my marriage, hurting women started coming from the woodwork. The saddest part about it was that these women were in Christian families… These men were supposed to be followers of God.

Yet here they were… dealing with affairs, abuse, secrets and dating sights. My heart broke knowing all too well the pain they were going through. My eyes were opened to this lukewarm love that was being given from so many men! It’s like they all read the same playbook. The similarities were sickening.

This is nothing short of abuse… it comes in different degrees but it’s abuse nonetheless. Verbal abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse. Whatever degree it may be, abuse isn’t love.

The physical is easy to spot and anyone can see that this is NOT right! Physical abuse is never to be blamed on the victim. You cannot change that man or love him into changing. Change is something he needs to find on his own. Get out of that relationship now!

Verbal abuse becomes a little trickier. They could hide it well from close family and friends. Or they could jokingly say the meanest things and then make you feel crazy for getting hurt over their “joke.” At home it could be as clear as day, constantly being called a h**, tramp, b****… There is no excuse for this man.

Emotional abuse, this can be the hardest to spot and the hardest to explain. They can be serial cheaters, controlling under the guise of trying to “protect you”,  they play mind games, constantly lie, make you question your own reality, make you feel crazy and flip the script on you when they’re obviously in the wrong. This is not love!

This heartbreak I went through made me realize why God doesn’t want lukewarm Christians. Because he wants our love and our heart and when you genuinely love someone there is nothing lukewarm about it. You put that person first, you look for ways to make them happy, you want to be there for them even to the point of forsaking yourself. You will sacrifice selfish ambitions for them.

So when you’re doing all the above for the one you love and they’re lukewarm, not willing to sacrifice anything, just there when it’s comfortable and easy for them…. It’s a slap in the face. Either be on fire or be cold but don’t play the middle ground because lukewarm will be spit from the mouth of God.

Ladies, you shouldn’t have to settle for lukewarm love either. A true man of God will bring you closer to God, will pursue you in a godly way not a thirsty way. There will be no verbal, emotional or physical abuse. His love should be on fire! Willing to be selfless for you. As you should be with him.

Why settle for anything less?

How many times will you be broken before realizing you deserve more? Dear sister, you’re worth more! Get out of your feelings, follow God and know that HE is enough! You don’t NEED that man. Your heart has been through enough, now lock the door and give God the keys!

You can trust God with your heart. Seek him and he’ll show you what real love is. Then, when you’re healed and whole, a man who goes through God and is trusted with the keys to your heart is worth the wait.