I first started writing this particular blog because I felt a need to chronicle so many of the amazing ways I witnessed God supplying provision for me. I realized as I wrote it that ever since I was a little girl I remember being fascinated by testimonies of answered prayer.
I had many favorite records from the scriptures, as well as testimonial narratives of people like George Mueller who was a man who ran orphanages in England in the 1800’s. George Mueller was convicted that he would never tell anybody but God of his need and then received miraculous solution after miraculous solution. He ran orphanages primarily as a demonstration of God’s willingness and ability to answer prayers.
I also loved to reflect on and repeat stories my mom told me of answered prayers. One of my favorite stories was the time she needed four dollars to give each child a dollar to pay for school lunch. But she was completely tapped out broke. No money, no where. No change, nothing.
She searched through every pocket and every old purse and every coin purse searching for any missed money or change, coming up empty every time. She came to God and demanded that $4.
She said, “I have to have this!” Then she felt that God was telling her to go back to a specific coin purse, but she had already looked in that coin purse – multiple times! She said she had even turned it inside out previously – and there was nothing in it. But she obeyed the prompting she sensed, and looked in it again and she found $4 there!
I love this story for many reasons. That she did what she knew to do, that she came boldly to the Father, and that there was NO WAY she had “missed” the four dollars previously, because she had even turned the coin purse inside out, but God miraculously put $4 into that coin purse for her. Still blows me away!
I longed to have those kinds of tales to tell of God’s goodness and
provision for me! Yet, the reality of God supplying for me in amazing, supernatural ways was far different than I expected. In those places where I had no means to supply my own needs and had to fully rely on God, places where my flesh could not provide the answer were far harder than I anticipated.
See, to rely on God meant NOT relying on myself. And that sounds logical and like, of course! But if you haven’t lived in those places where your human ability is exhausted and you have no five-senses solutions, you won’t probably fully grasp the humbling of that place and how walking out trust and faith are very different than sitting in a Sunday sermon saying, “Amen!”